Venture training

An early rise after not enough sleep and a tiring day yesterday. I was not keen to go and be sociable. I spent most of the day either trying to just stick with people I knew or hiding. I skipped one session all together and spent a couple on the sofa at the back of the room, listening but avoiding the group discussions. I felt a bit naughty and at times a bit fraudulent. But it was tough.

I thought people probably thought I was weird, especially when I kept having to answer the question 'what do you do?' with 'I am signed off work'. Argh. But everyone has their different problems and the more I get to know other people the more I discover how they think they are weird. I think others are probably worrying about themselves more than they are looking and judging me.

But I guess they still might not like me. But God loves me and what better love can you find. And I have other friends so really who cares if these people don't like me. But realistically they probably don't dislike me anyway. Both my co leaders said they were excited about our team.

I feel fat, as ever. But what else can I expect if I eat so much? Anyway, my identity is in Christ, not my weight or physical appearance...