Day 176

Decided fairly soon in the day that it would be good to do some exercise. My ability to cope with this did worry me a bit.

I had intended to go back to bed (this made going out feel less scary) but after I had got back from my walk/run/sit by the lake and showered, I thought I might as well do some laundry. Except this made me panic and so I retreated to bed.

I ended up just lying in bed not wanting to do anything. Fairly tired. I was a bit upset that I had to go out and couldn't just sleep.

My bike was all dirty but I ended up having to cycle as I wouldn't have time to walk. This caused me some distress.

I watched a film with Helen. It was ok. I spent a lot of it fiddling with and cleaning my earrings. I was counting down a bit.

I wasn't in a very good mood even when it was over though. I suspect my hunger had something to do with it. And Lucy. I didn't want to go to church. I didn't want to deal with the dirty bike.

But I did.

Joyful message from the sermon (Acts 13:39):
Through him everyone who believes is set free from every sin, a justification you were not able to obtain under the law of Moses.

Amazing! No guilt necessary.

Sadly I didn't let the joy stay with me long.

I left fairly soon after the service. I had been a bit scared of being on my own all night but I somehow forgot that.

I was very grumpy as I waited for and got the bus home. I'm pretty sure my hunger might have been a big contributor.

I'm so tired now. Trying to just get on top of things before sleep though.

I'm a bit scared about the week and being too alone. Earlier I was fine about it as it meant I could sleep. One day at a time. Tomorrow is only a little bit scary. I can do it.