behind those eyes...

...lies deception

it was disguised with a cute face - by a kitty body - covered up with loads of negative energy...

after frank came to live with me - i thought life would be wonderful and joyous - yes, i was still grieving gracie, my princess diva - but i knew i had love for another precious kitty - rescuing frank seemed to be the route to go - however, his cuteness - quickly turned the corner into darkness - he became a little prince - obsessed with wanting to bite me at every opportunity he had - as well as to chew up everything in his path - i attempted many different forms of behavior modification - with this little animal tyke - searched the web for information to help us - in our quest for peace and resolution - to turn this pattern around - nothing was working - he had moments where i thought "maybe" - but those only came when i ran him into exhaustion - and he finally found rest in sleep - when i could stare at his tiny body - wondering what new tactics i could try

tending to my sore hands - feet - and broken skin - after having so recently lost grace - i didn't want to have to say good-bye to another kitty so soon - but i found myself getting worn down - realizing that perhaps it was me - that i was just not the mama for frank - it was not the perfect match up between us - i had originally set out for - that sometimes - no matter how much we may want or desire something - it just isn't going to happen - we need to relinquish it - let it go - recognize it's in both parties best interests to free the other - and in so doing - perhaps that's where the greatest growth may actually occur - or maybe i'm simply telling myself that - so i can feel better - not feel judged by my own self - or feel as though there might be others who will judge me - because i couldn't make it work - but living with a highly aggressive kitty is not a pleasant thing - to feel as though you're in a combat zone day in and day out - to have your skin broken and bleeding - to be attacked for no reason by an animal you only want to love...

it was a difficult choice - because i grew to love frank - in spite of it all - i don't understand the reasons for his bad behaviors - i don't have to - i do know that once again i'm sad for having to say good-bye to a pet - but i know tomorrow is another day - and it will be...

a

happy day.....