In the middle of the night ....

When I was pregnant with Boy; I was 10 months pregnant and had been in hospital for a week.

The ward had 8 beds in it, a good six foot around each bed - we were all heavily pregnant and needed space and the ceilings were high - about 20 ft high.

As I lay on my bed one night, I watched as a spider came creeping through the window of the third bed down from me ... At least 18 feet away ... It crawled in, and steadily made its way to the centre of the room where upon it began its path up the ward.

I lay with scarcely a breath, watching its progress, knowing for sure that in a room twenty foot high, by sixty foot long and thirty foot wide there was only one place that spider was going.

It took twenty minutes for it to wind it's way across the ceiling and then after 20ft it did a 90 degree turn and headed straight for my bed, at a speed I never knew spiders were capable off .

I lay there in frozen horror as it approached my bed and then, suddenly as it crossed the threshold of the end of my bed and my table and all my clip boards: it let rip with its web and dropped with the speed and ease of tom cruise in mission impossible.

Me? In my ten month pregnant state I performed the fastest manoeuvre I had accomplished in 3 months and the floor under the bed was where the nurses found me in response to my squeals.

And that is why you have a 'night vision ' shot of the corner of the bedroom where a ginormous spider is currently in residence, and I am awake at gone midnight sitting in the Buffetty skud on a pouffe at the foot of my bed waiting for said beastie to get lost.

I already made Himself change sides and the bloody thing swapped over. And once I made myself comfy outside bed - it started back again. Am once more residing in the correct side of the bed and said monster is farther away and closer to the door

And the best thing is ... Himself hasn't offer to dispose of said spider for me because he knows I really don't want to hurt it

I just don't want it to rub its willy on my face