Day 122 - going crazy and having visual issues

Bit of a grey day. Tried to just sleep away the morning. Was a bit on edge as I was expecting the GP to phone. Settled for cereal out of the bag to avoid leaving my room.

Did a little CBT whilst watching Michael McIntyre (hilarious!) which was quite good. I began to get increasingly anxious though.

I went a bit crazy trying to delete lots of emails.

It got to 3pm which was when I had told Rhoda we could go to Cambourne. Still nothing from the GP. I was feeling harassed by the email situation too and just a bit all over the place.

I felt a bit like I might just cry and struggled with keeping up the conversation.

We got to the council and I was so confused what I should be saying or doing. I decided it was a good thing I don't work much - I can't deal with the stress! And I was strangely tired too.

We went to Morrisons for coffee and cake. That helped me a bit. We played some cards which was quite good but I was still feeling very delicate and odd. I wondered whether I might be ok once I was by myself and had a walk round the shop. But it didn't. I think I was still anxious about the GP ringing. I also wondered whether I had a migraine coming on or something. I felt so weird.

We came back and I went to bed. I was feeling pretty hopeless and unsure how to keep going. Then the GP rang! I told her that I'd had some terrible times this week. She made me an appointment for tomorrow. Now I'm worrying that I might have made it sound worse than it is... But it has been so hard at times. And I can't quite face keeping going but I have to. Bleurgh.

(I ended up managing to quite enjoy the rest of the evening as, once I had gone downstairs to get some dinner, I played several more games with Rhoda.)