Sunrise

Despite taking a few sleeping tablets and a Diazepam last night, had another rubbish sleep and was awake at 5.30am. A lot of random dreams too, of which I keep getting flashbacks of through the day.

As the sun came up and the morning brightened I realised how dirty my windows were. So at 7.45am I was washing all my windows, inside and out. Afterwards I was exhausted. Had to sit down. Pathetic!

I then pottered, changing things around and tidied half-heartedly. Lay on the sofa for the rest of the morning, numb and emotional.

Walked along to my session at lunch time; it was a strange one today; jumped from one thing to another in quick succession, felt I didn’t talk about anything in depth. Nobody’s fault, just the way it went.

Went for a bit of lunch down at The Haven; getting a real regular there. It was quiet and the girls were talking behind the counter and laughing. I felt like I had been hit in the chest; I can’t remember the last time I properly laughed like they were.

Back home for a sleep for a few hours.

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