Perfect View.

I finally did it !

After years of squinty eyes and crooked glasses and strange facial expressions - I gave in to old age and bought a magnified mirror.

Now, I don't like vanity - and, I'll be the first to admit, that when I put on full slap - drag queens look better in it than me. Putting make up IN the crows feet is far too labour intensive (and a bit like grouting a bathroom!),

Sharing a house with milky complexioned, long lashed, perfectly slim teenagers, IS a bit soul destroying, when you are the good side of fifty. But I had my moment in the sun...although photographs of blue eyeliner and shaggy perms of the 80s doesn't do justice to how GORGEOUS we all were then (and didn't appreciate it).

My mum never left the house without her Max Factor and Iced Champink lipstick. She would often chase after me telling me to "put on a bit of lipstick....do you want to try my nice PINK".

Nowadays, however, I REFUSE to give in to the monobrow - and I ALWAYS get my grey bits attended to. So, I bought myself an old lady magnified mirror.

Oh lordy ! What a shock when I looked in it - everything look massive and there is hair EVERYWHERE ! Follicles as thick as my wrist - sprouting out my eyebrows and (dare I say it) my nostrils ! When did I become so Hirsute???

I think I prefer to look in ordinary mirrors now, preferably with my glasses off when everything returns to soft focus and I look 26 34.

Here's a little calming view of the canal.

I'm away to check the job vacancies to see if there's a post free for a bearded lady !