I Want to Break Free

There should be an E. U. directive aimed at harmonizing gate openings.
Many a time I have stood baffled at the edge of a field wondering whether to

Push
Pull
Slide left
Slide right
Twist
Turn
Thump
Lift
Separate
Clench
Or just call out the Mountain Rescue.

Can't go over, barbed wire .

Can't go through dog slot because : Too fat and
                                                                 Not a dog

Usually at this point up will rock a bunch of rosy cheeked ramblers who seem to have an instinctive grasp of the mechanics of the thing. With one deft metallic click they are free. I'm so dumbfounded by their gate-opening prowess that I forget to escape while I can, and the ruddy thing clangs shut in my face again.

Grrrr

This is a picture of a fine example of the Welder's craft, courtesy of Lake District National Park Authority.