Letter to my husband

After an awesome day out as a family seeing the buskers. I came home and read an article on Huffington post about parenting and as I watched Andre shower Harper and he looked at him while Andre sung I realised there are things I've never said to him that perhaps I should.

Dear Andre

Today there was a mishap that upset Mar that we took the blame for telling him that we miscommunicated. You and the boys were on the middle Island, I was on the footpath, you told Mar to cross and scoot towards me, I saw a car coming and yelled at him to stop. He panicked and dropped his scooter and started crying.

We didn't miscommunicated, it wasn't our fault. It was mine. I realise now there was plenty of time for him to cross, that the car was a distance away, you'd seen it and judged the safety of Mar crossing. I decided you were wrong and it wasn't safe. I apologise.

I am so used to being in charge of the boys when you're at work, making decisions around their needs, dealing with therapist's, teachers, doctors who always ask me stuff, get me to fill out questionnaires and sign things that at the end of the day when you come home and in the weekends I forget that you are a parent to them too, I forget you can make decisions about them, that you are able to give input to the teachers, therapist's and doctors but you never get the chance . I forget you're capable of judging their safety, I forget that you play with them and parent them differently to me and so sometimes when I probably don't understand what or why your doing something I get upset and all motherly when in fact you're in total control. I know I worry, that's my job but I also realise that this can and has on times got in the way of your parenting.
You and I work well together, we always try to back each other so the kids see we are a unit. I also know there have been times I haven't had your back because your discipline feels too harsh when in reality it's not, I see my babies cry from you telling them off and I forget what they did, instead I get upset that because of your firm daddy voice and your short sharp no nonsense tone you upset them.
The boys love you, they need you, they seek your attention and approval. I love you for being there everyday, for coming home and having to suddenly have 3 babies heaved onto you by me to take care of because I'm exhausted. I know your tired too.

I don't want to ramble and I feel I am.

So Andre I apologise for stepping on your daddy toes, I want you to know I think your a great dad. Please don't get frustrated with me, by the end of the day I'm still in automatic mummy mode and sometimes it's hard to switch off and let you be in charge. I love you and I will try harder to let you parent them your way, to back you and not step in.