Give praise!

Postcard plastered all over my cupboard.
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The following was written on 17 June:

So tied up in my own feelings of lousiness, I forgot to give praise.

On Saturday (16th) we had an Comm meeting, and we wrote down impressions-- the good and the things-to-improve-on -- we have of our fellow members.

Some "things-to-improve-on" that my friends see in me..

That I may be one who is easily bullied.
hmm.. I don't think so. I'm pretty aware if someone's 'using' me, pushing me too far, or 'maginalising' me.. just that sometimes at that moment I am unable to articulate and defend myself, and I may go home with feelings of resentment. I may replay what happened and find ways to rationalise, or I may write, and once I've set my thoughts straight I may talk to the person again about it, or I may just shove the whole experience in one side-- which isn't very healthy, but I suspect I have done so several times.

That in some areas, I am quite 'anal'.
My friend gave the example that I tend to fill in our meeting minutes with a lot of details, which she felt isn't always necessay. I guess I am very detailed when it comes to certain things, like writing (as you can see, today's a whole large chunk), as I feel it makes it clearer for me, and I hope for others too :)

I tend to get affected by people dynamics and it gives me a lot of stress
Hmm.. I realise I didn't ask my friend for a specific example, so I do not know whether what I think she is saying, is correct. Hope to clarify it with her. Well, I'm actually afriad of what I say might negatively affect another, that's why I'm so adversed when it comes to speaking-- I'm afraid I'll say the wrong things. In certain situations, this has rendered me speechless. Sometimes I picture bad dynamics leading to awkard, conflictual situations, it'll make me uptight and worrisome.. I guess it's good to pre-empt though, and I should think of steps of different ways of approaching people.

I do not give others opportunities to help out and show their talents
Yep, sometimes I'm so enthusiastic to help, or would like efficiency, I tend to take over things and do them by myself. Guess I should try nudging the other person if he/she still hasn't done it, and take time to wait a while longer, and believe in that person.

I should express anger or disappointment more often so as to push others to try harder.
hmm.. sometimes I feel that perhaps the other person is actually very busy with other committments already, and if I can spare the time and effort, why not help out? I think that it's not always necessary to express anger/disappointment, especially when I know the other person is aware of what s/he has done (or in some cases, not done) and has/will feel bad about it, and will try harder the next time around.

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Some positive things that my friends see in me..
Bubbly, cheerful, helpful, funny/crazy-lame, supportive, committed, sympathetic, meticulous, conscientious, efficient, my personal touch, "dare to do spirit" and the "if we die, let's all die together" spirit (my friend wrote these two in Chinese, and I couldn't stop laughing when I first read them..! haha..).

Three seperate sentences struck me:
"You're simply a power-packed girl packed in a small frame!"
This made me chuckle when I first read it.. haha.. now I read it again, the description makes me sound like a powerpuff gal.. lol~ I guess in some ways, I am a 'fighter', out to prove people wrong.. especially people who stereotype me because of who I am, how I look like. I used to cringe when people called me 'cute', because I think they say so as I am (i)short (ii)on the plump side (iii)look like a kid.. and with that, some assume I am incapable of doing certain things, or not suitable to be in certain roles, OR that it is my "cuteness" which gets the task done, and not out of my own capability of using negotiation/people-skills. Perhaps again, in some cases this is untrue (or perhaps they are merely teasing), and just based on my assumptions, and insecurity. *shrugs* who knows?

"You're my energiser man, I hope to work towards you.. you're like a role model for me."
I was quite stunned by this comment. Wow. I didn't know I was such a person, especially to this friend of mine. I've never been a 'role model' to anyone.. at least no one has ever told that to me before. I felt truly honoured.

"You bring out the good in others."
and I think to myself.. "Do I? Do I really?" For I've always saw you were the one who brought out the good in others. You so believed in people around you, in their strengths, and made them come to realise them too. You had confidence in me even in times when I had momentarily lost faith in myself.. I thank you for believing:)

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And I thank God..

thank Him for having others point out my faults and weaknesses so that I may be humbled, and come to a better realisation of my self.

thank Him for hearing my prayers, that He may work through me, so that there are times that others may see His goodness in what I say and do.

Thank you, Lord.
:)
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streaming tears.. weary. should rest now.