Introducing Professor Bones.....

Me: Bony, why are you wearing glasses and why have you changed to your red hat?

PB: Firstly, don't call me Bony. I am now Professor Bones and I want to be addressed respectfully in future! As for my glasses, they make me look more intelligent - you'd need more than that - and as for my hat, it goes well with my scarf.

Me: Righto. B-- I mean Professor Bones, what are you a professor of?

PB: Oh errrr.. I am a Professor of Life, Death and Grave Situations, that sort of thing.

Me: Hmmmm. You are a real expert then?

PB: Oh yes indeed! Anything you want to know about bones and bony bits, I'm your skeleton! I've been around a while too so I know a bit about most things. I am going to be giving talks in universities to students and scholars everywhere!

Me: You do realise that you are going to have to behave yourself now you are going to be lecturing.

PB: How dare you?! I have no intention of going leching! I know I have an eye for the ladies after my rock star early years but I don't go round jumping anyone's bones these days!

Me: Steady on, Professor Bones! I said 'lecturing' not 'leching!'

PB: OHHH! Humph! Right well.... I should think so too. Ahem! Of course I'll behave. I have letters after my name now you know?

Me: Oh yes? What letters?

PB: Ummmm.. F.O. and P.O.

Me: Which stands for?

PB: Ummmmm... Fellow of Oldness!

Me: And??

PB: Ummmmm...

Me: Well??

PB: Arrrrrggggghhhh! P*** OFF!

Me: Charming!


Track? David Bowie today - Changes