Old Waimak bridge at sunset

Life has continued today in this strange new normal where life goes on yet it has changed.

Early on I convinced myself the best thing to do was get out of bed and head up the Port Hills. So I did.

From there it was a slow move into structure and function. With the help of my neighbours grand daughter we cleaned and straightened downstairs. I hadn't done much house work before I rushed north to be with Mum and in my absence summer winds have left a layer of grit on everything.

She has pocket money and I had help to create a level of order I find clears my mind. I think I found the balance between doing and being, the need to reflect and the need to take small steps towards finding a way of living without a Mum.

This evening I fished with the fisherman hunter and his mate. It was balmy down at the Waimak, the river just a little bit high and dirty but good nonetheless. They helped me 'read' the river and filled in the gaps in my knowledge. We've found a spot that could be good for salmon once the river drops.

Pretty large

I decided last night not to go tramping and climbing for a week in late January. I'll take this month gently and learn to balance grief with work and every day life. A hard trip might not be the best for me just yet.

Today I decided I won't try to go back to work on Friday. I'll return to work next Monday and allow myself the days between now and then to find my feet and take things a day at a time with plenty of space and things that sustain me.