10th December 2013

Half past 11 at night and I'm already in bed; this is unheard of for me. Last night it was midnight, so I'm gradually trying to get myself organised and in to bed at a more sensible time. Sleep is another matter, but I'm here and my phone will be turned off in a minute.

Today was a bit of an all over the place day. Shopping, hairdressers, in-laws going to see the school play, then more shopping followed by dinner out. It was all hectic but all good and all jobs got done.

I saw a video the other day discussing depression and how it can be called the black dog. Everybody has a black dog, some people know how to control theirs but others struggle until it seems like the black dog is so big that it stops you from being able to function; it controls you rather than you control it. And I found this short video to be just what I needed to help me express how I feel. Yes, I have a black dog. Just like you have one. But at the moment I'm having trouble with it and he's a bit bigger than yours. But I'm learning how to deal with it and one day in the future I will be in complete control of it again. We all have our up and down days; sometimes for me it seems the black dog is sitting on me and crushing my ribs until I can't breath. It's time I taught it to sit on the floor with the other dogs. My black dog and I need to find our happy place again, and thankfully it's no longer the Digby it used to be. It's more of a Great Dane now.