My New Hobby

My knees being in a similar state to the UK economy, i.e. perpetually on the brink of complete collapse, I have had to consider new ways of filling the idle hours when I am not helping the Party limp along in third place in the opinion polls working diligently to bring about the Centrist jubilee. Running, jogging, walking and playing strip Twister all now being non-starters, I have had to come up with a new hobby.

I have decided I shall learn to play the ukelele.

[Pauses for hysterical laughter from fellow Blippers.]

We have a fine ukelele orchestra here in Otley and I have set myself the goal of joining them at performance standard within a year. I have never had much success with musical instruments and I expect this will be little different, but it is fun and presents a new set of skills to learn, so I shall give it a go.

Incidentally, the kazoo is to cover my deficiencies in the vocal department. There are few songs suitable for those whose singing resembles the noise made by someone being eaten alive by a pack of killer kittens while gargling with a large vodka Martini and, of those, even fewer suitable to be played on a ukulele.

Wish me luck.