The Hammacher Schlemmer Catalog

It’s always good for a few laughs — not The Authentic Morgan Three-Wheeler — I’m referring to the bizarre, unusual, sometimes practical, but always expensive items in this catalog.

When I was a lad, the Morgan was considered a practical transportation option — certainly better than a motorcycle and sidecar. I was surprised to find that they’re still being produced and more surprised by the price — $59,000. Even allowing for inflation, I suspect that’s a lot more than it cost in 1909.

It you’re looking for something safer to ride in on, how about The Amusement Park Ride-On Railroad for $23,000? It’s a 1:8 scale outdoor electric train that can haul up to 1,600lb/726 kg at a 3% grade, and it comes with 228ft/70m of track in an oval configuration.

For something more practical, I suggest The Remote Controlled Rolling Beverage Cooler. Perfect for your next party, it can carry six cans or bottles (and ice) to your guests, as long as you’re still capable of operating the radio controls. At $59.95, it’s one of the cheapest things listed.

If you ever feel guilty about spending too much on tools toys, a quick flip through Hammacher Schlemmer will make your worries go away.

P.S. In case you haven’t noticed, every item’s title begins with the definitive article The.