Interview with a Skeleton - Part 2

Me: Errrrr..... What's with the Christmas hat and tinsel. This was supposed to be a serious chat with you showing your new hat off. I wasn't expecting you to turn up looking like a Christmas tree.

Bony: I think I look great and I know they've been showing Christmas adverts on the telly since August so it must be nearly time!

Me: Nowhere near! Didn't you hear all the fireworks last night? It's only November the 6th.

Bony: There are fireworks nearly every night of the year round here. How am I supposed to know that?

Me: True. I can't argue with that one. Do you really want to look like that for the next six weeks.

Bony: This is the mood I am in today. Who knows what I will feel like tomorrow.

Me: I dread to think......Anyway, enough of this nonsense. How are things with you, Bony?

Bony: No worse than normal. Life is full of wild excitement here on the landing outside the bathroom. I get the occasional hairy legged visitor you know?

Me: You cheeky sod! I do not have hairy legs!

Bony: I wasn't referring to you! This place is full of spiders but they are mostly quite friendly. I think they are more scared of me to be honest. You should see the legs on some of them!

Me: Hmmmmm.

Bony: There was a spider the other day as big as a hand! I'm surprised you didn't see him in the bathroom, although of course you haven't got your lenses in or glasses on at that stage so I doubt you'd notice anyway no matter how GIGANTIC it was. Out of sight is out of mind. Just as well I say...

Me: Will you shut up about spiders?! You really are dreadful! Are you trying to give me nightmares?

Bony: You want to see yourself at 2am in the morning half asleep when you are stumbling into the bathroom for the loo. Now, that's what nightmares are made of!

Me: Charmed I'm sure! I might accidentally bump into you next time I pass and there would be a pile of bones at the foot of the stairs then. You'd have something to complain about.

Bony: As long as you don't wave your hairy legs at me. I know you only bother to shave them if you have a hot date lined up and you've not had one of them since the summer!

Me: Right. That's it! I'm sticking you out for the bin men on Tuesday. You can take your chances with the rats at the council tip. They like shiny eyeballs.

Bony: Oh the truth hurts! Anyway, I know you'd never get rid of me. What would you do when you were desperate for a blip? You can't rely on pigeon plop forever!

Me: I'll give it up completely one of these days.......

Bony: You've said that before. Just don't forget to take me when you leave here completely. I'm sick of this hallway anyway. You just need a change of scenery AND before you are too crippled and ancient to be bothered about hairy legs. Look at me! I don't worry about things like that.

Me: HUMPH! I take it you are going to continue to look like a Christmas Tree for the next few weeks then?

Bony: Oh yes indeed! It's not that far off. Anyway, I know how to cheer you up! I'll show you something that the Pope, a Christmas Tree and the dazzling me have in common!

Me: What's that then?

Bony: Ornamental Balls!


Track? Here's an old classic today from Bill Withers - Ain't No Sunshine