Sunlight

Nipped down to M&S tonight after work to get a birthday cake for my grandma. As I parked the car the light on the wall caught my eye.

I am trying. Trying to get better, but I am feeling the pressure. The pressure is coming from myself and it is really getting to me. I have the materials to get better but it's not happening.
I ordered a book that the dr recommended; an 8wk course on mindfulness, I also have another few books I could read but I just can't concentrate and I have no inclination to read.
I downloaded a meditation app that I am doing for 10mins every night. That is helping me to sleep so that's good.

I feel so angry with myself that I just can't pick up a book and read, have the motivation and energy to do anything. I feel I am wasting time and I am blaming myself for not doing enough to help myself.

I am going through the motion of living but not really doing the living.