FUNGUS

So there I am, sitting on our deck, head down, trying to get a sharp image of a fungus, when something whirrs aggressively past my ear and lands briefly on my head. It's a robin, saying, 'Stop fecking about and get me my meal worms!' So I do. I know who is in charge.

Am I specist? I am intolerant of certain species, thought not cruel - I f I kill I try to do it quickly and cleanly. While I value my interactions with the birds, insects, worms, spider and other animals that visit our garden, I loathe slugs. When I opened the bird seed bin straight after the robin encounter, I found it full of slugs, including one monster that was at least 120 mm. I flicked it out and tried to squash it under my foot, but - UCK - it was too big - UCK - so I resorted to bashing it with a hammer. A bit of sloppy gut shot up and hit me in the face - triple UCK.

So am I specist? And do you mind?