Finished

I had a stay at home day today as I was expecting a delivery (anytime between 8 - 6).  I didn't mind as I had things to do.  I decided on a catch up with my sister and suggested she make a cuppa and I'd give her a call.  (Often she is 'jobbing' while on the phone but I didn't want bashing and crashing of pans while we chatted).  She is my older sister and has a heart of gold but a different political view from me (while living in a wonderful countryside bubble).........not sure why but we drifted on to politics and Trump and Abortion and Reform .............. and boy does she talk, drowned me out, spoke over me............didn't let me get a word in edgeways (think Trump - Zelensky in the Oval Office).  She knows her facts (or makes them up whereas I don't retain facts and figures and often speak from the heart - I wish I was a better debater and could remember things).  I felt so sad, angry and frustrated.  We don't normally have these sorts of conversations and she text me afterwards to apologise.  I rang my other sister to rant and get it off my chest - she listened a bit then off she went...........her talking, me listening.  I tried to interject a number of time and spoke over her to try and get her to stop and listen - both of us talking at the same time for three or four seconds, still she didn't stop!!!   FFS.  I love both my sisters but after putting the phone down wondered why I am such a receiver/listener (8 years of being a Samaritan) and struggle to get my point across.  Made me really sad and reflective that the ONLY person who understood, listened, shared, empathised, talked in turns, could chat to for hours happily.........is no longer here.  I was sad, bereft, tearful, empty.........so rang No2 who listened, mopped up my tears and sadness.  He is so kind and sweet but isn't Aimee.  I miss her so much.

I gave myself a talking to and decided to get on with my day (2 hours later) and finished the quilt for Baby Beatrice.  Not perfect but ok?  OH home from golf and knew something was up so I shared my sadness with him.  

I decided on a quick trip out to Hobbycraft for some more thread while he painted the shed with stain.  Home for casserole which I had prepared this morning followed by cake which I had baked this morning.  Homely, making sort of day.

Note:  I write this as a sort of diary - I find it hugely cathartic and has helped navigate over the years.  Apologies to any who read if it is too personal?!

I also vowed to get a notebook and make some notes on things I read to try and retain some of it?  Re-listened to a great podcast - Guardian In Focus - Mehdi Hasan on Trump's first 100 days, then googled Mehdi Hasan........and Kamala Harris' position on abortion then Roe v Wade............going to make some notes now!!!