“It’s my birthday…

… and I’ll have a parade if I want to!”

Ever since he attended the traditional July 14 parade in Paris as a guest of Macron during his first term, Dear Leader has tried to organize one in Washington — without success.

This is really not so much about celebrating the military — after all, he couldn’t be bothered to attend the return of the bodies of four military personnel who died while serving abroad. I mean he was golfing at the time, so please don’t bug him with these silly ceremonies. He’s also been known to disparage those who had the disgrace of being captured while in combat (“fools”). And he’s convinced he’d have distinguished himself in service, had it not been for those pesky bone spurs….

So here we go again, for another try at a parade. It’ll cost about $92 million and would take place on June 14 for his birthday: what a wonderful coincidence! Again, Muskrat (Mr Government Efficiency and Fighter of Wasted Resources) is nowhere to be seen or heard on this. But hey, rejoice: a parade will be good for the moral of those whose places of employment have been gutted and the tens of thousands who find themselves out of a job. I swear, Baby Kim couldn’t do better….

(Ps: apologies for whatever ‘army’ AI chose to depict in the image; I realize it’s not accurate)