Oh my goodness

Today. 

Today.

Wednesday was rough. Yesterday was better. Today was better too, but by 5 pm I was physically spent. I was handling the emotions but the handling meant I was exhausted. Thirty minutes later a news story flashed across my screen that a judge paused the administrative leaves. 

Now that I’ve given you the end of the day - because unlike the writer of this novel, I don’t like this much melodrama -

Last night there was a meeting with the union. I don’t qualify to join the union but they weren’t picky about who could attend, so I knew they were filing a lawsuit.

First thing this morning I looked for a message saying my travel authorization was approved. I didn’t see it, but in the travel system it said my ticket was “closed” which I dearly hope means payment has been approved and is on its way. 

Today at 10 there was a meeting with an organization that helps people get work in international development. “Career Emergency - when you lose your job with USAID” Most of the people at USAID have worked there all or almost all of their professional lives. They haven’t looked for a job in ages. They don’t have LinkedIn profiles. If USAID is gone, all the USAID jobs are gone and all the jobs with contractors who do work for USAID are gone. It isn’t that there aren’t jobs left, it is that there will be tens of thousands of people all applying for those same jobs at other organizations. 

People were encouraged to think about entrepreneurship, working for state and local government, and expanding their skill set. They were reminded that their skills were transferable. They were told to collect unemployment insurance as fast as possible, to ask their friends for help, and to talk to their spouses instead of leaving them wondering what they were doing and how many jobs they were applying for. They left feeling they’d gotten a pep talk but there was a lot of recognition that what is happening to them is wrong. 

At 11 am I had MY meeting (online). Yesterday Carolyn asked for a meeting today, our last day, so I complied. I made a video of pictures of colleagues and played it while we talked. At the end I asked people to participate in a ritual with me. A ritual? A ritual. 
1) mute your microphone. Not everyone on the call curses 
2) think of your favorite curse word
3) think of your favorite elected or unelected government official
4) think about what you would like to say to him
5) curse
6) do the Wakanda hug

- mute!!!
- curse
- Wakanda hug

What is the Wakanda hug?
I said that Wakanda is the most amazing country in Africa and that vibranium is an absolutely key critical mineral that can do anything. I said that it was also like a hug, and that we could all use a hug right now and that we all probably want to hug each other right now. 

[AI Summary: The Wakanda pose, also known as the Wakanda salute, is a gesture that originated from the Marvel movie Black Panther. It's made by crossing your arms in front of you in an "X" shape, with your right arm over your left. The Wakanda pose can have multiple meanings, including: "I got you, "Resistance, "Communication, and "Love" or "hug" in American Sign Language (ASL).]

It was glorious fun to see people cursing, shaking their fists to the sky, laughing, and hugging before we left. 

I spent the afternoon downloading documents of my accomplishments so I could represent them accurately when job hunting. 

At 5 pm I was absolutely physically exhausted. I was wobbly and having a lot of trouble walking. Emotionally I felt fine but I think my body knew I was not actually emotionally ok. I collapsed on the couch when a notice came across my screen. A judge paused the USAID layoffs. 

What does this mean? It means the people still here today are to come to work on Monday. It means there is a delay in being put on administrative leave. 

The judge will decide tonight if the administration has to bring back the 500 employees they put on administrative leave. It means nothing at this point for all the contractors laid off. 
 
The emotional whiplash! Moving from physically exhausted and sad to physically exhausted and slowly releasing the stress and being happy! 

(Just btw, supposedly the administration created a waiver to allow life saving projects to continue. This is not really true, because none of the contractors can be paid. They haven’t been paid for the work they’ve already done and the expenses they’ve already paid for, they can’t go further in debt with no idea when they’ll get paid. The life saving programs have not resumed.)

 Eight children kidnapped by Russia and brought to occupied Crimea have been brought back to Ukraine. They were forcibly taken from their mother. This is thanks to Ukraine’s Bring Kids Back initiative. The mother was in the hospital when they were taken. 

Russia launched an Oreshnik ballistic missile at Ukraine but it exploded in Russia. Hallelujah because Russia was aiming at Kyiv. They are really supposed to terrify people more than do actual damage but half have not reached their targets. 

Ukrainian forces made some advances in Kursk. Russian war reporters say that Ukraine may have captured the towns of Cherkasskaya, Konopelka, Ulyanov, and Fanaseevka.