Last photo

I has a restless night and was listening out for No.1 however she didn't wake up.  I went downstairs to make a cup of tear at 7.30 and as I walked past her door she was being violently sick and clearly not right.  I shouted for OH who put her in the recovery position while I phoned 999.  It was only 15 minutes but felt like hours and three lovely ladies turned up and took over.  They cleared her airways and did all the checks and took some background details.  Meanwhile the ambulance was parked in the lane and causing problems (at one stage a delivery van was up on the verge and had totally blocked the lane).  The paramedics were comforting and compassionate but basically agreed there was no benefit taking Aimee to hospital and asked if we had a (I think) 'care package' in place............the rest is all a bit of a blur but we had a visit from the doctor, the nurse from the Hospice who all agreed that there was nothing much more that could be done, other than to make Aimee comfortable.  A few hours went past and a nurse arrived with a syringe driver and a bunch of meds to keep Aimee stable and out of pain.  Meanwhile I had rung James who wondered if she would be well enough for the wedding to go ahead...............grief does fully things I am sure and I had to quietly tell him that I didn't think she would be well enough for the wedding to take place.

The rest of the day passed in a blur but James' parents and sisters arrived (V kindly bought a casserole with her but I couldn't eat).  I sat by Aimee's bedside talking to her and holding her hand.  I think she knew I was there but didn't speak.

I have been worried about the wedding for the last few weeks and it is sadly, not to be.

I slept by Aimee's side although probably didn't get much sleep being aware of every breath and heart beat.