Dive.

Today Bethan came to corbridge again which was awesome, we spent the day swimming, smoking, and laughing really. Absolutely mint.

I love the her bright eyes and the look of my face in this shot.

Shits' kicking off with Bex, like proper kicking off. i don't know what to do other than apologise through gritted teeth and hope things get better. I am ruining her life and I don't know how to stop it. I just don't feel the same anymore but she literally won't let me leave, for the guilt, the desperation, and the general 'don't leave me' cry. I mean I don't want to leave her but I don't want to hurt her, and I know i can't have it both ways so it's got to be one and the second one I don't know how to stop, so.

I'm so exhausted. Can't wait to go to sleep, perfect day, seeing everyone on Thursday so that should be awesome :)

Love Love Love my Bethan.

~

Feel my way through the darkness, gathered by a beating heart, I don't know when this journey will end, but I know where to start. Wish that I could stay forever this young, not afraid to close my eyes, life's a game made for everyone, and love is the prize!

SO WAKE ME UP WHEN IT'S ALL OVER WHEN I'M WISER AND I'M OLDER.