Principles

This redpoll flew into the study as I was thinking about my principles. The poor wee thing landed on the windowsill and then tried to nut its way through the glass to freedom. I managed to get a couple of quick shots before I carefully cupped it in my hands and took it outside. It flew away quickly, and hopefully it found a safe tree branch on which to recover from the shock of being so uncomfortably close to a human.
 
Kendallishere asked me several weeks ago about any personal principles which guide my life. I've sat down and thought about it today. What a positive exercise it has been. Thank you Kendall for the question, and I apologise that it has taken me so long to respond.
 
There is one principle which stands above the rest: to live as lightly on this Earth as I can. 
 
I'm sure nobody will be surprised to read that. Everything I buy, every time I get into the car, every time I switch on power, I consider its impact and make a decision whether to continue, or to stop, based on my perception of personal responsibility for the current resource and climate crises. It is second nature to me and isn't as onerous as it might sound. 

Having said that, it took me years to adopt it wholeheartedly. I found all sorts of excuses to avoid it, most of which I now see were due to a fear of the unknown and trepidation about stepping into a less mainstream life. I have no regrets.
 
Everything is inextricably interlinked, but I can identify four other principles which I live by every day:
to have no regrets (no what-ifs or if-onlies);
to be happy (what is the point otherwise?);
to accept responsibility for my actions and inactions; and
to be kind to myself.
 
Aiming to have no regrets has meant that almost any time in my life when I've come up with some hair-brained, brilliant or exciting idea which makes my heart race in anticipation, I then set about researching and planning to make it happen. Of course some of these schemes fall at the first hurdle, many more disintegrate when the reality of making them concrete hits home, but some have led me here to my patch of Earth. And the only regrets I have are those which passed me by before I decided I wanted to live without 'what-ifs'. Have dreams, then make plans.
 
Being happy is something which has crept up on me more slowly, although I have always been a positive person. These days it's a central tenet to the way I live. I simply can't see the point of being on this earth to be sad, miserable, frustrated or angry. Of course I am all those things from time to time, but these days I analyse the feelings and figure out ways to get back to being happy again. If things need to change significantly to achieve happiness, then so be it. (Have dreams, then make plans). 
 
Laughter is a huge part of being happy, and on a bad day I will stand in front of a mirror and make myself laugh at myself. It can feel stupid and pointless to start with, but then the laughter just sort of takes over and things don't feel so bad.
 
It was drummed into me from an early age that my actions and inactions have consequences, and that the only person responsible for them is me. Dad taught me early on that accepting responsibility doesn't make me a lesser person, and that when the consequences are unexpected, or unfortunate, it's a good learning experience. I'm still learning! Living lightly is a significant expression of this principle. 
 
Being kind to other people has been important all of my life, but being kind to myself is something I've only understood and begun to master in the last 26 years. Meeting my Pirate changed everything and thanks to his love I learned to be less hard on myself, to love myself, to like myself - and consequently to be gentle with myself when I was finding it hard to live up to my own absurdly high expectations. Gradually over the years I've figured it out. And this in turn has fed into my levels of general happiness.
 

Of course I trip up with all of these. I'm no more a paragon than anybody else. But these principles keep me balanced, grounded, content, and my head held high.


I'm off for a lie down now after all that thinking!