San Francisco

NEWS BREAK
As you know, I try to bring you the latest, up-to-the minute stories in these emails, so long as they are topical, interesting and involve poo.  In San Francisco, the top news story was that the unions working for the Walt Disney Corporation of America had won their court battle to wear their own underwear.  
 
I know what you're thinking.  Surely wearing your own underwear is not a privilege?  Surely it is the right, nay the duty of all free men to put on whatever thong, boxer or brief he or she wishes!  I quite agree with you, but The Disney Reichsfabrikmachen was apparently worried about visible panty line in its cartoon character actors at the theme parks and so provided SPECIAL underwear that all potential Mickeys, Donalds and Chip 'n' Dales were commanded to wear.
 
Now this is the interesting (and by interesting, I mean “disgusting”) part – the Disneyslaves had to SHARE said special underwear.  They were further instructed that they were expected to take the special undies home and give them a good clean now and again.
 
UNFORTUNATELY, some of the naughtier cartoon characters didn’t seem too bothered about laundry and threw their kakky smalls straight back into the clean undies hamper!  With the result that various fluffy actors developed warts, herpes and other genital nasties.
 
The San Francisco Herald ran this story front-page, under the headline, "EEEEWWWWW GROSS!!!!"  This is the sort of journalism I really appreciate.  You may mock, but the next time a cartoon character gives you clamydia, don’t come crying to me.