Fear

I have this recumbent bicycle in my bedroom. It is a nice one. I used to use it daily but like anything else you do repeatedly, I got bored with it. I switched over to walking. I would walk most days and being outdoors would make all the difference. I loved walking. I also have been working out with my sister once a week for the past few years doing Pilates. I was feeling good. Then my back went out and a series of tests showed I have degenerative disc disease and three herniated discs. I did physical therapy, received a nerve block shot, and got relief. Something happened during that little break in my routine and I guess I can only describe it as fear.
Pain has a way of staying clear in your mind and you would do most anything do avoid it. I did not want to aggravate my back so I really tensed up when trying to exercise. Fear feeds on itself and although I kept up with the Pilates, I stopped walking. I miss it so much but the only way I can really get back into it without causing further back problems is if I really make my core strong. I come from a family of incredibly weak core muscles. This is no easy task. I do not care about being thin but I do care about feeling good and being healthy.
Today is just an ordinary day. Nothing changed from yesterday and yet today I decided I had enough. Many of the friends I've come to know through Blipfoto are from all around the world but especially in the UK and the one thing I noticed through reading their journals is that just about everyone walks all the time or at least as much as they possibly can. I envied them so much. I realize I cannot just go out and walk 5 miles after being away from it and I realize I have to build up my core to protect my back. So today, I pulled out the recumbent bike and put on my iPod. It felt great! With some patience and persistence, I plan to walk again before this summer is over.
My reward..... a puppy. After all, puppies need to go for a walk every day.