The three musketeers
Often it would just be us three, and we always had a laugh when we went out or just being in.
This is our wedding day 17 years ago. Mum was 76 here and looks fabulous! It was a beautiful sunny day - bit blowy at times hence the wind blown hair..
Had a bit of a relapse today (Thursday).
I’ve decided to write down in my journal the Eulogy I did for my Mum at her funeral. Obviously there is so much more to her life but I read when trying to write it to try and capture the essence of the person, and tell stories. Then finish with a goodbye.
‘First of all thank you all for coming here today, to pay your respects and celebrate the life of this remarkable woman, Doreen Hally.
Mum left instructions for me not to ramble on too long about herself so I’m hoping 5 mins will be ok! She also left instructions about which music to play, and the poem. All her choices!
Mum - I’ll try and capture the essence of you in this short eulogy.
Mum was straight talking, sharp as a tack and content. She never wanted any more in life than she already had.
But before she became Doreen Hally, she was Doreen Cowper.
Mum grew up in the 1930s and unusually for these times, was raised by her Dad. In Her own words - “He was The Bees Knees, I couldn’t have had a better Dad and count myself very lucky as he was just great and loved me very much and was good to me”.
He shaped her lifelong love of sports, cards games, dominos and socialising and the two of them would spend many weekends at her Gran and Grandpa’s house near Errol when all the extended family would visit. I’ve heard many great stories of these times at Newlands.
Mum met my Dad Peter at the dancing in Blackford. Dad didn’t endear himself very well on their first meeting as he had just come back from National Service and was drunk. So mum, not liking drunk men had nothing to do with him! She must have liked him enough though to give him a second chance, and why not as Dad was kind, hard working, patient and handsome and they married in 1955 . A happy marriage that lasted for 47 years. Mum made many lifelong friends in Blackford where she lived for 70 years, belonging to many clubs and one that her and Dad both enjoyed which was the Bowling Club.
Graham and I had a very happy childhood in Blackford with the best Mum and Dad.
Mum had a fabulous sense of humour, she loved to have fun! She had a spark, a twinkle in her eye, a soft smile and could brighten up a room with her presence. She had lots of stories! I’m sure her friends at Isla Court, where she spent the last 17 years of her life, would have heard many of them, sitting at their table, in the lounge, blethering away as they busied themselves with their crocheting or crafting. She was very happy there. She said that even if she won the lottery she would never leave.
Mum loved her iPad. And for someone her age it was impressive how she worked it. She had all the games on it that she loved, as well as Facebook and Instagram. Since she got it in 2011 , she has been texting family and friends, sometimes with hilarious outcomes due to predictive text. I remember one of many. When Stewart and I were going to Lisbon one time Mum texted me asking if I would bring her back a cannibal. A Cannibal I replied?? No, I mean cannabis, to help my knees!! Yes, she wanted me to smuggle in drugs from Portugal to Scotland.
Mum loved our family parties where she was always the star guest. One of the last ones was for Cameron, her great grandson’s 18th birthday party in March. We had a Pinuata, a hollow cardboard donkey on a string, full of sweets which you whack while blindfolded with a stick till it bursts and the sweets fall out. Did mum just sit back and watch us doing it?? Heck no She had to have a turn too. Up she came, hand on Dave’s arm to steady herself and gave three hefty whacks, with us all cheering her on, her face beaming. Even at 93, she still liked to be in the thick of things.
The hard part
Losing Mum feels like losing the sun. But the beautiful thing about the sun is even when it sets it never leaves. It leaves behind a lingering glow. And so does Mum. She has left us, but leaves behind the glow of her love, the echo of her laughter, memories of her stories, her brave spirit and her kindness. Even in her final weeks she taught me a lesson in bravery.
She continues to live in each one of her family. Family that meant absolutely everything to her. She was never happier than if she was spending time with us. Me, Graham, her two granddaughters, Laura and Rachel, her great grandsons Cameron and Ben, and with Stewart, Morag and Dave.
So today as we all say goodbye to Doreen, our Mum, gran, GG, Mother in law, aunt, and friend, let us remember her not with tears, she wouldn’t like that. Let us remember her smile, her selfless love, generosity, independence and courage. Let us celebrate her life, carry her in our hearts and let her legacy live on through us. As she said in her final few weeks, after her diagnosis,. I’ve no need to cry, I’ve had a very good life. A life well lived.
To my wonderful Mum, when you passed away you took a piece of me with you, a part that only existed in you. Goodbye Mum, miss you - Till we meet again.’
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