Last Day

For half of the day I was oblivious of what was to come. We had a lovely walk round Loch An Eilean. This must be the most beautiful circular walk round a Loch with a ruined castle in the middle and Scots Pine trees alplenty. It’s stunning and I love it there. There was a red squirrel at a feeding station eating peanuts in the kernel and was lovely watching it chomp away at the nuts.
We then went to a pub for lunch which had good reviews but I was v disappointed in it. I had chicken and leek pie and so did Ben. The chicken was rubbery, the broccoli was undercooked, almost raw and the boiled potatoes were soggy. And the pastry was flat. We just picked the wrong thing. They didn’t come back and ask us how our meal was.

We decided to have a trip to the strathspey railway for a coffee and cake as there is now a cafe there since 2019. It was so good. Spoke to one of the volunteers of the railway and we had a great chat with him. I took a photo of Ben sitting in a chair in the old fashioned waiting room to recreate one that I took in 2016.

He told us that he had a girlfriend! Someone from the Ad Lib drama group called Iona. He was a bit embarrassed!

We walked over to the wee convenience shop and got a call from Morag. One of these life changing calls. She told me that the consultant had analysed the scan and mum has pancreatic cancer with also cancer on her lung. Stunned to hear this but I had a niggle that the scan would throw up something awful. And so it was.

We drove back to the holiday home, called Laura and told her then told Ben the sad news. Started packing up to come down the road. Dropped Ben off at home.

We then drove to Dundee to see Mum. Not sure it was the right thing as she was wired and a few things she was talking was garbled. Morag told me that by evening elderly people become more confused the later in the evening.

We have a meeting with the Consultant Friday morning at 10. Cancer fucking sucks.