Breakfast

Poached egg on toast, B’s favourite breakfast, and I perfected the cooking of the eggs during lockdown! He would have had white bread. I just fancied it this morning. 

Once again I had an alarm set as I used the day off to get the car serviced and air con re-gassed. Sadly, they didn’t have time to sort the air con as it’s not just a simple re-gas, so hoping we don’t have a heatwave over the next couple of months until I have another day off to get it done! 

It was lovely to see Stalker today, I honestly don’t know what I would have done without her as a friend over the last year. She did, and continues, to empathise, even when I think I should be ‘better by now’. 

I realise that most other people think I should be ‘over it’ after a year, and actually can’t believe I have survived a whole year. In many ways it has gone so quick, despite long, lonely days, the months have passed and it’s almost a year since he went. I really don’t want that anniversary, in a strange way it feels like a final betrayal.
 What I have to do now, knowing that within myself I will never be ‘over it’, is to keep ‘it’ within myself. 

I realise I am rambling now. Apologies!