Sunday's Headline News

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

Sunday has been a slow news day. Headline 1 is that "Red" the Club Penguin I got from Briar is now tucked up in bed. 

Headline 2 is that Ellie had to pinch off a poo in mid-poo because Aubrey was upset. She felt the need to tell me she did the "pinch 'n' snip" and I warned her that meant a "Poo Part II" was imminent. 

ME: You are literally SITTING ON A POO TORPEDO right now. Ready to go off at any minute! The launch sequence has been activated! 

ELLIE: MOTHER OF GOD.

The reason for this trauma was that AJ had a friend over and so Ellie was in charge of children. Worse, friend is currently living out of his van so they had promised him a shower.

ELLIE: THE SHOWER IS IN THE SAME ROOM AS THE POOP TOILET. THEY WILL KNOW SOMETHING DIED IN MY @RSE, SYMON!!

By this stage in the text conversation I was having a hard time breathing. Much like Van Man after a few minutes in the Poo Shower, I assume. 

ELLIE: I blame AJ for this. He told me THIS F*CKING MORNING that his friends were coming round to help him put a gearbox into the Suzuki and here I was planning to put up the f*cking trampoline but instead I end up stuck in the house on child duty. The f*cking audacity!

But she wasn't finished.

ELLIE: AND THEN

ELLIE: He tells me he watched a tonne of videos and apparently it will only take us about an hour and a half to put the trampoline together.

ELLIE: Mate.

ELLIE: He's f*cking dreaming.

ELLIE: Not only does he owe me an uninterrupted poo but we better get this f*cking trampoline up tomorrow or I will rage.

ME: Thoughts and prayers for AJ.

ELLIE: DON'T YOU SIDE WITH HIM.

So that kept me amused. 

Headline 3: Caro wanted to go on a Little Mission today and I love those, they are always fun. So she drove us out to the stores to pick up cat and bird food and because Caro cannot go to Mitre 10 without seeing heaps of OTHER stuff she didn't know she didn't need, we also came out with lots of new garden lighting too.

She was so happy. She was singing and dancing and bouncing along in her little car. I love Part-Timey Caro! I love Driving Gal on the Go Caro! I love Singing and Dancing Caro!

She makes me very happy. 

And that was today's news. Honestly, nothing world-shaking but on days like today, with the birds singing and the sun shining I am heartily glad of it.

S.