No-One Likes Shrinkage

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellow,

I am NOT throwing away my shot!

So. 

Bad ideas.

I went to the office today because Team Jess were in town. And they have been just LOVELY to me so I wanted to meet them even though we are no longer working together.

I was rewarded upon arrival by a hug from Olivia the BA.

"As one of your work wives, I wanted to say goodbye," she added.

Now here's the thing. I didn't even know Olivia WAS one of my work wives. I certainly don't remember work marrying her.

Not that I'm complaining.

I also managed to fit in a lunch with Corrie, Ellie and Shenée. I was so happy to see all three of them. Even though I still see Ellie around the office all the time, she is so busy these days we've stopped having our fun catch-ups and I miss her. 

And of course, Shenée greeted me by waggling her bum and rubbing it up my leg like an Aussie Shepherd dog.

I told her how disturbing some of you find this.

"Yeah. I know," she replied proudly.

It was a fun lunch and I usual I spent most of it laughing. The biggest revelation is how much Shenée likes being naked. We were talking about Jefe and Manda having their own place, and how nice it must be to have no housemates and the next thing I knew, Shenée was telling us how often Craig asks her where her knickers are.

"Oh. I dunno. Somewhere," she'll reply.

"Did you get distracted?" he'll say. "Was there a duck?"

But no. Shenée was not distracted by a duck. She just doesn't see the point of clothes in her own home. 

It's another piece in the delightful puzzle that is Shenée.  

When I got back to the office, Team Jess had already started their post-project Xmas team party. There was Secret Santa and FOR ONCE the presents were actually bloody good. I got a lovely book on Te Reo from Akasha which she had written inside for me. And THEN Jess presented me with a bottle of whisky from the whole team. 

I was quite touched. 

After this we went to Duke's, the bar next door where the fun and games continued. Some of the other BA's also rocked up but I was struck by how much fun I had even though no Team Gromit people were able to make it. 

I guess what I'm saying is that Team Jess runs Team Gromit a VERY close second in terms of spirit and friendliness. 

This was to be my ruination of course. We ended up going to a retro 80's bar where THESE SHOTS arrived. 

As a team, we downed them all in about a minute. I think I had at least eight of them. I mean. They were chanting my name. What's suggestible idiot to do? 

Then, the singalong nature of the environment led to someone* suggesting KARAOKE. I thought I'd better let Caro know that I wouldn't be home as early as I expected. I texted her thus:

I'M AT A KARAOKE PLACE. BUT HAVE STOPPED SHRINKING.

Quite obviously bloody autocorrect had messed with my final word. But Caro cheekily replied:

NO-ONE LIKES SHRINKAGE

I mean. True. But she knew FINE WELL what I had meant.

At karaoke, Jess put on high-energy dance tunes (including "Wannabe" and "Barbie Girl" - which she made ME sing) and we all screeched along as best we could. 

I'm glad I had the sense to stop drinking. But the result is that today - although I do NOT feel too bad from the drink - my body aches all over and my voice is hoarse. 

I am a wreck. "It is like I have been hit by the Vengabus," I texted Briar**.

So that was my Kainga Ora send off. I did not intend for it to be such a big night, but I guess it had to be really.

THANK YOU TEAM JESS.

S.

* Not me.
** She is in Australia, studying volcanoes this week. Yes, I am aware of the irony.