Monday

I didn't get out of bed until 2pm, I woke briefly earlier but I kept falling asleep. Did make a plan with a friend but a few hours later cancelled. I feel bad, crying all the time and a lot of agitation and urges to self harm. 
I had no visit today but knew they were at the end of the phone. I attempted a few times to call but stopped myself. Eventually I did and got the same man that visited me yesterday. I was told to get up and make dinner and distract myself. He wasn't interested in listening. It was a 2min call and another waste of time. Again it made me feel worse. I can't eat and all I want to do is sleep but I have to wake up again. 
A bit apt that this is the page of colouring I am on, not that I have done any today.