The unbearable lightness of beans

I dreamt last night that I was in a cafe and the food started floating off my plate.

These are the dreams of someone who is insecure and worried. Me and 99% of the world’s population … but of course it would be culturally specific. A Scot would dream of floating porridge. An Italian would see a levitating pizza. A Swede would see their smogesboard slowly rising to the heavens, pickled herring falling from a tipping cracker … and don’t even go there on curry … what a mess!

I also dreamt that a charming serial killer was trying to get me to stay the night in his house. I wasn’t fooled. 

Today was a day of domestics. We no longer have a cleaner so are doing it ourselves. Plus I spent an hour cleaning out the garage. 

There was a mild panic when we went out for our daily walk. I shut the front door with a key in the lock on the inside. That meant we couldn’t get back in again. I had to buy a crowbar and prise back the doorframe by about 3mm and the thing popped open. Worryingly easy. Thank god for deadlocks and smart cameras…