Honest me bollix!

Who the f**** do you think we are, McCormack shitehawks? Do you equate the consumer with yet another sheep to be fleeced? 
How can you bring yourselves to print it on the label? 

"UNWASHED FOR AN HONEST LEAF" 
Fox sake, I wouldn't mind teaching you some rudiments of honesty. The Kick Up The Arse method it's called. Unwashed for an honest leaf? Nothing to do with the fact that you'd rather not deal with the hassle and cost of washing the bucket loads of fertiliser and bugs killer you spray on your shaggin salads, McCormack robbers? 
Didn't Daddy Joe McCormack come up with the concept in his late teens when he invented the "unwashed for a fragrant knob" concept for his then girlfriend? 
And young Joe Jr cowrote that best selling book with Paddy Power: Gambling Addiction - A Risk Worth Taking. 
And mommy Aoife McCormack wrote the famous Code of Ethics for Estate Agents Acting for the Accession to Property Ownership for First Time Buyers. 
Shower of wankers those McCormack. You know where you can shove your rocket (it's no rocket science). 
UNWASHED FOR AN HONEST LEAVE
There really was no need to add insult to nonwashery... 

Yep, I am sick and cranky, with zero tolerance for bullshit today. I just felt like a deliciously peppery emmental and rocket sambo without having to wash the shaggin salad first. And then towel it dry, because a wet emmental sandwich isn't my idea of fun. 
Rant over.

FUCKERS!!!!


Now rant really over.