For I have seen hell

Is there a worse place in Canada than Niagara Falls? It is like Fleetwood on Bank Holiday Monday... on steroids.

Of course, the actual Falls are majestic and mind-blowing - and that is why we brought Ottawacker Jr. But the rest of it is just crap. Pure shite. And where I would once have ensconced myself in a pub, the massed thronged of maskless blubber meant I had to walk around and take it all in. 

I mean, where to start? The dinosaur-themed crazy golf that dominates the town? The "volcano" that pukes up clouds of black smoke every 90 seconds? The tacky overpriced plastic junk that is everywhere? The dirt? The crowds? The sky-high prices? The queues for every single thing? I cried a little inside.

But what can you do? That is modern life.