Perspective

Today was a day about perspective. Actually, last night going into today has been about perspective for me. The tragic events of Boston got to me for obvious reasons (1: It is sad that people died and got hurt, 2: Boston was home for me before Istanbul, and 3: If I would have been there, I probably would have wanted to do the marathon or at least be there to support those who did). That really got to me.

Then I received an email with a pinterest about "natural highs" and one of them read "fitting in." This has been an issue of mine ever since living in Istanbul. There are moments when I feel like this is the place for me and there are moments where I don't feel like I quite fit in here. And then I got messages from dear friends back home. They told me they are thankful for me and one of them even started a blip so I could see home through his eyes. It is all about perspective, isn't it?

I was talking to a friend of mine about living overseas and the difficulties of it. You really put yourself in a situation and it tests you and your beliefs. I find that I am thinking about things differently. Which can be great and scary at the same time. I feel like a lot of my views and beliefs have been challenged and I had to rethink a lot of them. Somethings have changed, somethings have gotten stronger. At 28, I find myself still asking "who am I?" and "what do I believe in?" My friend told me to learn how to love the challenge and ambiguity of these difficult questions.

I reread my blips and find myself giving two different pieces of advice:
1.) Focus on the small things (hence the journal)
2.) Don't forget the big picture

These seem like opposing pieces. Sometimes we need to see the small things and not forget the big picture. How do I as a person fit in with the people around me? How can I (as the person I am) contribute to the group (who are also just a lot of "1 persons")? The individual in a community. I took another picture of a mosaic. This time I didn't show the whole thing or just a single piece of it. I showed a little of both. This is where I am in my head today.

What am I thankful for today? I am thankful that this is happening and I am thankful for being in one of the most challenging situations I have ever faced.