Tom, Dick and Punky

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Punky has been a right pain lately. Firstly, he caught three sparrows. He figured out that if he sits in "The Spy Shack" (actually the rain cover that goes over our garden table) then he can CHARGE out and capture an unwary bird. 

So we removed the rain cover. 

Punky was not happy.

You be glad to hear only two of those three captures were fatalities by the way. He dropped the third sparrow in his lair (the bedside table next to Caro's side of the bed) and I grabbed it. I was pretty sure it was dead but literally as soon as it saw freedom it FLEW out of my hand and into a tree!

Punky was not happy.

But in capturing birds, it seems to have triggered his desire for freedom. He's been wandering around and around the garden meowing at the fence and trying to find a way over the security measures. 

"Why don't we let him out?" you may ask. Let me explain.

1. He is the Begbie of cats. He doesn't understand cat society. He will beat up any cat he sees. 
2. He is a scaredy-cat. We strongly feel that if he gets out he will FREEZE in terror and be unable to get back home again. 

But he is relentless lately in his pursuit of freedom. So much so that when I got home from work yesterday and went to look for him and he was not in any of his usual places, me and Caro feared for the worst. 

We checked around outside for him. And soon enough Caro called and told me that he was in next door's garden. But he was not moving.

Yes, he was FROZEN in terror. I could see him through the fence and tried to call him to come over. But he wouldn't. He crouched in fear, meowing and meowing and meowing and meowing and meowing.

Caro had to go round there. At which point he got scared AGAIN and ran away. Fortunately, he ran away by leaping over the fence as I'd been encouraging him to do just 5 minutes earlier. 

Caro immediately reinforced our Punky Prevention Measures. Extra baffles! Extra spikes on the tree! A piece of CARDBOARD in that corner of the fence where he always meows!

And then this morning he did it again. 

I was WATCHING him. I sat outside having a meeting with my team and kept my eye on him as he approached the corner of the fence where he always meows.

Then he went behind me. And then he disappeared. 

I had to explain to my team that Punky had absconded. They were very understanding. Because they are my team. 

And it was then I figured out he had found a way UNDER the fence. Caro had to once again go to fetch him while I kept him calm by talking to him. 

And once again he ran away from her as she approached him, but fortunately he ran back under the fence. I shooed him inside and closed the door while Caro f*ck-saked her way back to the house.

So now we know. This is how he does it. Caro has engaged FURTHER Punky Prevention Measures and blocked up his escape tunnel with stones. But when her back was turned he rolled one away. She replaced it and put down a concrete paving slab. And two bags of potting mix. 

"Let's see him move THAT," she said with grim satisfaction.

Punky was not happy.

S.