Summary of my weekend

This gadget is a symbol of my entire weekend. While you've all been going out carousing, I've been getting on with the final leg of the house. Decorators' caulking is a new skill for me, but it really is only point and squirt. Lots of other filling and smoothing followed, which I won't bore you with.

As for the Ross-shire Journal headline, they might have been friends when they went to the pub, but I doubt it now.