Made In The Shade

My Dear Princess and Dear Friends,

Dave has been hanging out around the house all day. On the one hand this is annoying because I have to make sure Punky doesn't attack him, but on the other hand we love having Dave around. 

I had another work from home day today, enlivened by the dual forces of nature that are Fazzy and Ellie. 

Ellie, in particular, has been on fine form. She is as close to the female version of Bokhara that I can think of. In that she is a CONSTANT stream of energy (all of it benign and funny). 

Like Bokhara, she has lots of quirks and catch-phrases. In her case they are harder to describe because they are not words as such. More noises that only Ellie makes. Like when she makes a bad joke she will make it funny by making a questioning noise like "Ah-ah? Ah-ah? Ah-ahhh???"

And then there's a disappointed noise, like a "meeerrrrrrhhhhh". 

And then there's a happy noise, like an "Eeeeeeeeeeee!!"

These noises are accompanied by little mimes and dances. She is always jigging about and waving her arms.

Because she is a millennial, she puts her behaviour down to ADD but because they had not invented ADD in the 1970's I just put it down to "high spirits". 

Ellie told me she was diagnosed with ADD as a child but her mum refused to believe it. "My children are PERFECT," she told the doctor and knocked back his offer of medication. Instead, Ellie was not allowed sugar for about a decade.  

Honestly, I don't know or understand such things. All I know is that Ellie is a delight to be around; funny, supportive and incredibly astute. I shall include a picture of her in the extras that she sent me over Xmas, and it probably describes her better than I've been able to do in words.

Also, while talking to her she sings, like Bokhara - often to the same 1970's power-rock he favoured, which is odd considering she is 32 (or thereabouts).

Today she serenaded me to the riff from "Smoke On The Water" while she cued up a training video she made. Then she talked about her plans for training presentations and I offered my services if she needed me. "You could tell the attendees you have a BA with you," I added.

"And you could come in wearing a honk-honk red nose and riding a UNICYCLE!" she added.

That wasn't quite what I had in mind, but we were off on a tangent. 

Then we got talking about Amboubou the BA who is literally the most boring not-in-a-coma person I have ever met. In fact, I suspect some coma people have better conversation. I told her I found it really hard to get away when Amboubou was talking. 

"It's like ooooh... I just have to... there's a thing... I should..." I said, miming backing away.

"I need to go and fart," suggested Ellie.

I said this was also a good suggestion to get away from Amboubou.

"No, really. I do," said Ellie. "I had curried broccoli for lunch."

"I pity the poor bastard in the meeting room after you," I said. 

"SMOKE BOMB!" said Ellie, and mimed dropping a smoke bomb and hiding behind a chair.

"Okay, okay! I'm going now!" I said.

"Toodle-oo, motherf*cker!" she replied.

You see what I mean? She's Bokhara in a skirt.

S.

p.s. In other news, I had an online conversation with Ellie and Shenée. It started when Shenée revealed she was close to murdering a child with an annoying laugh in a cafe, because she has PMS. 

I told her that Caro burst into tears last month because Countdown didn't have any mandarin oranges in. 

Ellie then said she cried with PMS because she wanted kimchi at 8am and the kimchi place didn't open until noon.

And then Shenée won the competition by telling us she cried one time when Craig asked her to change the radio station and a song she liked was on.