Bring him home

Slept ok, woke a couple of times, think the significance of today was on my mind.

I needed to keep busy this morning so walked into town, to return some dresses I didnt like, via the Post Office, then had a coffee sat outside Costa in the sun, steeling myself for the final visit to the Funeral Directors to collect hubs ashes.I had made myself look 'nice' as it felt important to look good when I went to bring him home.

I had had a little cry earlier whilst standing staring out of the upstairs bedroom window looking for the right place. Spoke to daughter this morning, she had felt more sad today too. I told both the boys what I was doing today too.

No,photots taken today, so my blip is a collage of "happy family photos" of hub with me, our 3 and our granddaughters. We are learning to live without him, each in our own way, remembering the good times, which sometimes helps, but also highlights the immense gap we can never fill.

This afternoon I had to take youngest son for his hospital check up, all good. We went back to their house, I stayed for tea, DiL made a lovely spicy prawn & chorizo pasta. We talked about what they want to do in their back garden, which includes "something" to remember hub by, so we fixed a date to go the garden centre, to shop for various pots and plants.

After I got home our neighbours were just going out for a walk, as I was emptying the car, they saw all the garden tools in the boot of and offered to help .....I declined, but did say that there was something heavy I needed to move & might struggle with, so Alex offered to carry it for me......I showed him, told him it was hubs ashes, which are encased in a large oval shaped pebble like stone, made of lava.....
he said he was honoured to carry him <3

Hub will remain in our garden, back home where he belongs. For now I have placed him beside his beloved summerhouse. I shall take my time, and probably move him around, until I feel I have found the right place........