Turtles All The Way Down

By Stacebob

Reflections

It's been a rather weird day today. I was feeling quite sorry for myself as I was ill last night (in and out of the bathroom from 3:30am onwards) so I felt dodgy and was absolutely knackered. Also felt a bit down as today marks a full year since the first lockdown. Of course, I've never really come out of lockdown, as 2 trips to my local and an eye test caused such anxiety that the only other place I've been since last March is the hospital for Rich, and his sister's house for Christmas Day. It feels like it's been the longest year of my life, and I'm sure what Rich and I went through with his health hasn't helped, but hoo boy what I wouldn't give for a Mom, sister or friend hug at the moment. (Of course, that's not to say that Rich doesn't give good hugs, cos he does, but it'd just be nice to have that support and comfort from others too, innit.) I do count my blessings that we've both been able to keep our jobs throughout, and that I have my health, but a year is a really long time to be stuck somewhere... I couldn't bring myself to watch the PM speech about today, because I knew it would make me too cross, and I already was feeling not-great. Instead, after attmepting but failing at naps all day I decided to finish the 7th book of my Bookworm Challenge; Things No One Will Tell Fat Girls by Jes Baker. It actually ended up being a really good book to be reading today, as I was also feeling some guilt about taking time off work (shout out to everyone who usually gets this but feels even worse about it now they're working from home!) but there was a whole chapter on self-care, prioritising your health (mental and physical) and training your bonce to allow you to feel worthy of self-care. A very worthwhile read.

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