Cycles of Life

In this photo Laurie was very young.

Over the years we've been to lots of meaningful "Celebrations of Life." I have never been to one anymore touching than today's for Laurie.

The celebration was filled with lots of songs and then lots of sharing from a variety of people from various arenas of Laurie's life. First, Teri, her best friend of 20+ years spoke. She retold the journey she and Laurie had been on from despair to dismay to devastation during these past couple years of Laurie's cancer. The medical people had originally thought Laurie had pancreatic cancer, but then diagnosed it as Stage 4 Colon Cancer.

Then Laurie's brother, Deno, spoke. He is younger than Laurie and an attorney from Tennessee. He spoke of her smile and her positive attitude. Next her mom spoke and told of the tragedy of losing two daughters within one year. Laurie's older sister, Nancy, died suddenly of a massive heart attack this past September. I can't imagine losing a child, let alone two grown children in one year.

Then there was more music and the pastor's eulogy, which through Laurie's request contained the questions God asked Job in the 38th Chapter of the book named after him -- and that was powerful. In verse 4 God asks Job, "Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth?" and continues with one poignant question after another. Then just as the pastor thought he was bringing the celebration to a conclusion, Laurie's husband, Cliff, asked to speak. He told the story of the past several years and the ordeal with pills and the serious organization to keep track of all of that. And various surgeries. And then the most recent days when hospice was called in to help and the 24-hour a day assistance they brought. Then he spoke of the final 8 days and that he had chosen to take the midnight to morning shift -- to sit with her during those quiet solitude hours.

He said Laurie loved the hymns, so he'd do his best to sing them right into her ear. She was almost comatose, but he was confident she could hear him. He said her breathing was becoming more and more shallow and he knew what that meant. When she passed Thursday, he said he picked her up in his arms and held her until she was no longer warm. He just lost it as he spoke that part into the microphone.

He gained his composure and then said during all of her battle with cancer he had not allowed himself to cry. He said at moments when he almost did it was as if he were on the edge of a deep black hole and felt like if he were to allow himself the freedom of crying, he'd fall deep into that abyss and never find his way out. So as he held her dead body, with the warmth slipping away, he said he just began to sob. Then Cliff turned, looked at the casket, then looked back at all of us and softly said, "We were supposed to growth gracefully old together. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now." And he thanked everyone for coming today and then he sat down.

Mr. Fun and I have known Cliff and Laurie for years because we've all attended the same church. Today we learned things about both of them we never knew. Besides being a wife and a mom of three grown sons, Laurie had an I.Q. of 180, she was a published author. We've know that Cliff plays classical guitar, but now we also know what a dedicated husband he has been especially these past several years.

Laurie was 55. Way too young we think to be gone. Psalm 90:12 proclaims, " Teach us to number our days." I tell my students all the time to use their time wisely because time is the only thing we can't get more of . . . when it is spent, it's gone. We can lose all of our money and earn more, but not so with time. Even though many of us prayed hard to keep Laurie out of heaven and here with us, on Thursday, February 28th, Laurie walked right into the other side of life. We'll miss her until we join her.

Good night from Southern California.
Rosie (& Mr. Fun), aka Carol