regrets 


(they are simply part of this - none of us is perfect and none of us will escape the "I could have done better", not to speak of the regret of never having another anniversary or birthday at this favorite neighborhood restaurant with him - you have to go through these or you will not come out the other end - not having a small scotch together at end of day before dinner - so many rituals never ever again with him-------X for all your support)  


(and here are four lines that Dru sent me yesterday that I love - and hate both - hate only cause the words are so painfully real.  the whole Auden poem is on yesterday Dec 13.


He was my North, my South, my East and West, 
My working week and my Sunday rest, 
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; 
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong. )