A Sore Bum!

My Dear Princess and Dear Fellows,

I have a sore bum! Actually, just my right cheek. I was sitting on the floor and I was all like ooya. 

I wondered what the cause of this was. It's not like I use my bum often. As you know, I am not arsed most of the time. But then I remembered...

THE WEEDING

So I complained (loudly) to Caro. Telling her it was all her fault, and because my right bum cheek was now knackered I was sitting at a funny angle and that I wanted a therapeutic massage and you know what?

NOT SYMPATHETIC. AT ALL. IN FACT SHE LAUGHED AT ME.

This is surely some form of abuse. 

I'm going to try complaining louder. Maybe some dramatic sighing. That might do it.

S.