I don't know how I manage

To make so much mess. Yesterday morning I cleaned the kitchen. This morning this is my washing up waiting to be done and that's not including what's on the cooker of kitchen table.

I had a horrendously crap nights sleep due to back pain and managed to keep waking husband with my moaning.

I then didn't wake until nearly 10 (which obviously I needed but sleeping in always seems such a waste if a day).

Beautiful blue sky. I should be walking the dogs but my back hurts. So I take a washing load down (cos that's better for you - but I feel guilty doing nothing), put a wash on and roll my sleeves up to clean the kitchen again.

Had a steaming hot shower which helped a little bit. Cancelled cousin Sarah and oldest best friend Louis from coming next weekend and made an appointment for tomorrow morning at the drs. The pressure nodule has come back on my back I found it when in the shower. To say I am being utterly and totally sulky would be an understatement. My back hurts so much I want to throw up but as I haven't eaten as I'm in so much pain there is nothing to be sick with.

I can't lie down I can't sit in a chair and I can't stand so I have walked and walked round the kitchen table whilst accompanied by the dogs (who clearly think I have gone mad). I've been upstairs three times as fed up with the pain of turning the corner round the table. I've phoned my mom for sympathy, I've eaten peanut butter straight from the jar (and if I'm honest I would confess to Nutella and marmalade too) see a little bit if pain and the will power is out the window.

I got in the scales this morning - they were not impressed with my weekend of bread overload either.

I brought some pillows down and put them on the kitchen chair. This has kinda helped quite a bit (after making an attempt to sit on the kitchen sofa - my second since 17th December - big mistake won't try that for another month or two).

Husband had come home to my miserable chops. Luckily he had dinner out today so was happy with crumpets for tea which he made for both of us as in my crap miserable wife state could not be bothered to do.

Husband has sent me to bed - so here I am again dull dull dull. He is away for a 40th birthday weekend they are going to Bristol where they all met at uni which will be an awesome weekend. Clifton is one of our fave nights out. Husband has suggested I go and crash in his hotel room and order room service etc and just relax. But I'm too scared to incase have the same problem as had at mom and dads and can't sleep on the bed due to my back. How annoying and its a hotel I've always wanted to stay at.

Maybe I will see what the dr says tomorrow it would be cool to sneak in with husband and crash in his room.

If the truth be told I'm now just a smidgen scared that there is something more wrong than there first seems. I can't believe it takes so long to heal

I will NOT be doing any Britney Spears dance move impressions any time in the near future.

Yours very flippin annoyed with herself

Bad back bore