Goobye...

Last night was exhausting - I slept a few hours, but not really good quality sleep. I had a dream I walked through a door and Kenny and his brother Jesse were there - they turned around and looked right at me and smiled. I shocked myself into waking right up - wasnt able to go back to sleep...it was comforting, seeing Kenny in my dream. I told Tara when we woke up and she had a dream about him as well - he was in a staircase just sitting there. Allen also had a moment - his was last night, he went to say goodbye to Jesse and he hugged him and swears he saw a reflection of Kenny smiling back at him in a mirror. Others have told similar stories today - it's almost as if Kenny is coming to each of us and comforting us, saying hey, its OK.

Today we said goodbye to Kenny and yet celebrated his life. The funeral was rough - I didn't think it could get any worse from yesterday. Tears just would not stop flowing. We went to the church early and there were a lot of people there. We found out that there were over 500 people at the viewing last night - like I said before, Kenny had a lot of friends. Those who knew him loved him, those who didn't love him, didn't know him. He was just that kind of guy.

The funeral was harsh - we saw him one last time and said goodbye. A lot of kind words were spoken - the trip to New Mexico was mentioned - how much the trip meant to DJ and Kenny - two buddies on a road trip. It was heartbreaking but so beautiful - we sure do have a lot of memories - years of them...that will last us a life time. Kenny was taken from us too soon and I wish this was all a nightmare, but you know, he would have been so proud to see all of his friends and family in one place - smiling, crying, laughing. Friends of mine came out for the funeral as well - that meant so much to me, to have their support.

We had a nice lunch afterwards for close friends and family. Talked to DJ a bit - he was doing better. So was Kenny's brother, Jesse. Last night was a blast. The fact that we all went out to the bar afterwards and celebrated Kenny and all the memories. We shut the entire bar down - so many people there. We all needed that - Kenny always had a good time, no matter where he was, he would have been proud of the gathering.

After the funeral, we went out to one of his favorite bars with friends and had his usual drink - oh the memories in that place - we all shut the place down many times before. We sat around and shared stories. Afterwards we went to the site where the accident happened. I wanted to go, a few friends wanted to drop off a few items by is memorial. Friends set up a cross where his motorcycle landed - just a few of his favorite items. My heart fell to the ground. The accident was harsh - I will not go into details, but it was brutal. Every bone in his body was broken. He died on impact, that is the only comfort to us. We sat around and said goodbye. Friends were still finding pieces of metal from his motorcycle around in the grassy area - they were picking them up. That was our final goodbye.

Then we went back to Kenny's family and stayed with them a while. They are taking the casket down to Virginia for the burial tomorrow, service Monday. The last few days have felt like one long day - exhausting. Spent some time with Jesse as well - he is doing a lot better. We talked. I know this will change him forever - same with DJ...same with all of us. We all have such a void in our hearts. I will miss Kenny more than words can say. I wish this was all a nightmare...even Tara was expecting Kenny to just appear and say hey, why the gloom faces?!! That would be like Kenny - he pulled jokes all the time. I will miss you my friend. Love you. May your soul rest in peace.

Pictures: Top left - Tara and I. Top middle - the memorial where the accident happened. Top right - the candle at the memorial that has been burning since Tuesday. Bottom left - Kenny's close friends. Bottom right - Allen, Kenny's father (Benny), and Kenny's brother (Jesse).