IN A CONTEMPLATIVE MOOD

We were up quite early again and did our exercises to the same Lucy Wyndham-Read video as yesterday but it was much harder this morning - not sure why, but we both felt the same but we soldiered on until the end and felt good for not having given up.

I was feeling in a contemplative mood this morning, so decided to go for a walk on my own - I knew Mr. HCB would be happy pottering in the garden, and it was a beautiful sunny morning, so off I went.  I went over to the beautiful sanctuary I’ve found quite near to where we live and on the way, saw and smelt the lilac, but didn’t feel like singing this morning.  In fact, I had taken my iPod and was playing some beautiful violin music, so I walked round the field quietly praying and feeling a little sad - but not sure why although possibly the music made me feel it more.

It is quite a large field and by the time I got to the far end, I realised that my eyes were watering, although this wasn’t just normal watering from the pollen, but tears that were flowing down my cheeks, so I just let them come - there was no-one else around so I could cry all I wanted to.  

I felt a deep sadness inside, and wonder if it was because I had been speaking to my dear Blip friend, Heidi, yesterday and during the conversation, she had told me about her friend, Rhod, who had died a couple of days before, after contracting the Coronavirus so although she knew he was in hospital, hadn’t been allowed to visit him and nor had his family.

I think this deep sadness I felt was for all those who have died without the comfort and reassurance of their loved ones.  I saw the weeping willow tree and walked towards it and just stood there underneath the swaying branches.  Thinking about it now, I also feel that perhaps some of the tears were grief coming out after my Mum’s death - I haven’t really cried that much since she died in December last year. 

I took several photographs of the willow tree, but then thought I would take a video - I have uploaded this to Youtube and you can see it here - you can even hear the birds singing in the background - sadly it hasn’t uploaded quite as I wanted - it cuts the music off before the end - but I have other things to do today, so can’t spend any more time on this now! 

I walked on and came through into the housing estate, which is just across the road from where we live.  Every time we pass a particular house, we look at the beautiful garden and I just stopped this morning and admired the clematis that goes across the front of the house, the lilac and all the other beautiful flowers.  I was taking some photographs of the lovely flowers, when I saw a movement inside and then someone appeared at the front door.  The man obviously wondered what I was doing, so I introduced myself and told him about Blip.  He then said that if I kept my distance, I could go and see his back garden, and although I didn’t know him, it seemed fine to accept his kind invitation - and I was so glad I did.  The garden was immaculate and I have included three shots at the bottom of my collage.  What a lovely way to end my walk and I was so grateful to Michael for having shared his beautiful garden with me and I chatted with his wife, through a window.  Michael told me she is vulnerable so hasn’t been out at all, so it was lovely to meet new friends.  As I left he said I was welcome at any time - so I have no doubt their house and garden will be viewed by us again.

I was gone for quite sometime so Mr. HCB was glad to see me back, but after preparing lunch for us both, I feel fine now.  I spent a quiet hour putting the video together and now I am about to phone a friend.  Be blessed, stay well and safe, everyone.

“There is a sacredness in tears; 
     they are not a mark of weakness, 
          but of power. 
They speak more eloquently 
     than ten thousand tongues. 
They are the messengers 
     of overwhelming grief, 
          of deep contrition 
               and of unspeakable love.”
Washington Irving