Anxiety & The Virus

I have anxiety. I've been OK recently but it reared it's head last night and was there when I woke up as a ball of stress this morning. Crazy tension headache, very tense shoulders and vague memories of stressful dreams. 

My anxiety manifests itself as generally feeling unsafe, being on edge and a lot of it comes from the fact that I can struggle with uncertainty.  I've been lucky enough to have extensive therapy so it's not generally an issue anymore, but it is now. 

Like most anxiety sufferers I have coping strategies and safety behaviours. The issue at the moment is that a lot of them have been taken away. 

Usually if I'm worrying about something bad happening or my loved ones dying I use mental techniques to reassure myself that it's unlikely or I let those thoughts just float away. But with this virus, some of my loved ones could be in trouble, and in all likelihood I will get sick. 

I also check my calendar. I'm OK with some spontaneity in my life and I generally cope well with things being cancelled or changed but my calendar is something reassuring for me to look at. I then have a general idea of what my next week or two will likely look like. I can plan for things if I need to do, or use it to look forward to events and plan nice things. However, at the moment, my calendar is just a long list of things that can be summarised as 'events which may or may not happen because of a pandemic'. All of my plans could change suddenly at the last minute. This is incredibly uncomfortable. 

If something is coming up that I'm nervous about I will do some research, see what the experts say, just make sure I'm informed enough to feel OK. With this, though, the media coverage is relentless and alarmist. I can't understand everything or importantly do anything about it all anyway.

It also helps me to sometimes focus on upcoming trips, all of which currently are on hold. There are no holidays or weekends away for a while. 

The addition of stress from our car having to be scrapped and a new one quickly procured at the expense of all of our savings has not helped. Like a lot of families, we're keeping one eye on the possibility of financial difficulty. With the underlying stress of the uncertainty, adding other life stressors has not been so much fun. 

So, what can I do? 

This has helped. Processing through words and images helps me to understand exactly where I'm at. I intend to do some art today too. 

I'm going to limit myself to checking the news twice a day. 

I'm going to continue to get fresh air, like I have this morning, whilst I don't have symptoms. 

I'm going to try and think of some positive things we could do if we do have to go into isolation, try and see it as a mini holiday at home. 

I will do my best to focus on the here and now and breathe. Visualise my safe places and be mindful. Even when all of my other strategies are gone I can always go back to right here, right now.