Puppy Guilt

We were perusing the sale shelves at Meijer recently. I don't remember if we actually needed something or if we just ended up on that side of the store but I got all excited at the prospect of cheap junk. 80% off of something I didn't know I needed! Hurray!
There was a mass of oddly grouped items - knives next to stationary, broken crap next to stuff that looked half decent. Not willing to miss The One Thing that would be such a good deal I'd tell future generations of shoppers about it I went through everything.

All the way at the end of the aisle, by himself, next to a stained chef hat I spotted this puppy.

I don't particularly care for stuffed animals. I have a few - and those few I've had since I existed. There's also the 2 the Beloved gave me and 1 cat someone who I was in therapy with gave me* but generally I try to steer clear of stuffed toys because once I have them, they are not likely to ever EVER leave me.

But there this puppy was.
By himself. Lonely. I felt it.
That alone was enough for me to almost burst into tears, but I tried to maintain composure. I also tried not to look at the puppy but that made the pangs of guilt so fierce I nearly keeled over.
Crap.
Me: What the hell do I need a puppy for?
Me: But look at it! It's LONELY!
Me: I don't want the puppy.
Me: But he's 75% off!
Me: *wipes guilt tears from face* No. Please don't make me?
Me: Why would you want to leave the sad puppy all by himself? What if NOBODY takes him home? You BITCH!

*sigh*

So now I have a puppy. I named him Bruce.

I am not allowed anywhere near a real live pet adoption drive.



I also had a really good crazy story about oatmeal but I still have to turn the bedroom into a romantic picnic area before dinner. Which is in itself ALSO a pretty good crazy story.



p.s. In case someone thinks I'm smart enough to do anything with illegal overlaying graphics; I spend an hour typing all the take me home's out, printed it and made a puppy poncho out of the paper.


*I did give myself the Three IKEA Mice recently but that was after the puppy so for the purpose of this story it doesn't count.