Room sharing

If I had so many bedrooms, why didn’t I share?

Decades ago I realized that if a female co-worker ever accused me of sexual harassment, as a lesbian I would be assumed guilty. Things are better, in some places, now. 

That said, I outrank her. I am older than her. I have more power than her. If she accused me of sexual harassment I would be presumed guilty. 

I thought about the possibility of sharing a room. While I was trying to figure out what to do I briefly mentioned it, in the context of, “we don’t want to do that” and she had a quick look of discomfort that matched my own. 

It is not appropriate to ask a subordinate to share a room and as a lesbian, I sure as hell am not doing it. Yes, there were multiple bedrooms, but it was still the same hotel room. 

There were some other co-workers in town earlier, one male, one female. If the woman, or hell, if both of them, had needed a place to stay, I would have felt far more comfortable with that arrangement. We’re all Americans. We’re all approximately the same age. None of us outrank the other. I don’t think the woman would ever accuse me of sexual harassment. I don’t think I would automatically be assumed guilty if she did accuse me. 

I did run my plan and rationale by home office so they could object if they wanted. They thought my plan to send her back a night early was sensible. I definitely think she preferred that to the idea of sharing a room with an older, higher-ranking, foreign woman whom she may or may not have wondered was a lesbian. 

Both of my meetings today were outstanding, really useful. 

The flight to Hanoi was easy. 

I found out who was in town last week - Head of the Department of Defense, accompanied by many military personnel. 

I’m relieved to be in the same location for multiple nights. I’m relieved to have electricity outlets that just work. I don’t mean to be gross, but there aren’t bugs inside the hotel here. People are equally sweet in both locations. Both cities have loud night parties and horns honking. 

Ho Chi Minh City is safe. It is. But many people in Hanoi think HCMC is not safe because sometimes people in HCMC, going by on a moped or motorcycle, will grab a cell phone out of your hand and drive off with it. This is so shocking to people in Hanoi that they interpret this as meaning that HCMC is not safe. It is a crime of opportunity, not a crime intended to cause injury, so as long as your phone is not readily accessible, you’re fine. That said, I left my camera in the hotel room while I was there. Tonight, after recovering from my standard 5 pm crash, I went for a walk and took pictures. I tried and basically failed at panning so I’ll have to keep working on it.